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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Honestly, the set up you have is a bit of a unicorn. Your HHI is $875,000! That is very high and is very unlikely to be made up with you taking a more stressful job and him taking a less stressful job.

Let's say you find something making $250k, which is a great salary and a huge jump for you. Odds are it is not going to be very flexible (definitely not when you are new) and your time off, pension, and insurance may be reduced and basically eat some of the gain you will make in salary. Your DH could take a pay cut but he's unlikely to find a "family friendly" job making more than $250k-$300k. So now you have basically halved your HHI and the end result is that you are more stressed and less available, possibly creating more problems for your family.

You also have to consider the career field your DH is in. At that income I am guessing he is something like an attorney in big law or maybe in finance. I am an attorney so can speak to this personally; there are not a lot of legal jobs that pay over $250k that are not stressful. If they exist, they are very hard to find. I also think that people who are always working and have always defined themselves that way would be the same in a "less stressful" job, they'd just be making less money.

He'd be better off trying to make his current situation work better. Maybe that's using some of the money to make life easier with meal delivery, household help, or a personal trainer. Maybe it's focusing on techniques to reduce stress. Maybe it's seeing if he can do less and still get by.

[/quote]

This post did resonate with me. I recently moved roles within the same company and it was something I'd been wanting for various reasons. However, the new group operates at a much calmer tempo than my old group. Suddenly I have a lot time. And this is normal within the group. It's a high margin group. Work-life balance is great. But I miss the stress and grinding of my old roles. I do. Really, I do. And now I've started quietly looking around to see what's out there because I have a lot of energy and want to tackle time consuming projects and clients. I prefer having intense eight weeks followed with a quiet week, then another intense eight weeks and so on, rather than effectively working 20 hour weeks. I'm aware many people wouldn't understand. And I do think that people who work in demanding roles complain about it but relish it at the same time. It's like marathon running or intensive cardio. You either get it or you don't. [/quote]

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