Reply to Very controversial question but hoping it can stay on the tracks….

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[quote=Anonymous]I think you’ve missed the window for spanking. We did it three times for safety reasons (running into busy traffic, climbing over a second story balcony) at preschool age - short,sharp, immediate response to a dangerous event. One firm spank over clothing, no objects.

The disrespect one is harder. You WANT to do it all the time because they’re so infuriating. What we found worked better was to find something that was their currency (tv-time, device, dessert, whatever) and restrict that after warnings of the consequence. Stand your ground on the “no”. The first time it happens there will likely be drama and rage, but let that play out and go through it, and quite often the behavior was curtailed in the long run. A few times as my kid got older was to get right up in their face and lose my $hit and I would get this stunned “whaaa, who me” reaction and they would either storm off to decompress or immediately comply. They tended to behave better after that. My ace in the hole exceptionally rarely was to break down crying with “I can’t do this any more.” That really freaked them out and they would immediatedly turn sweet and nice. I’ve done that maybe four times, because it won’t work if it happens all the time.

However, unlike the others, I kind of believe that we tie ourselves into knots trying not to spank and we have a generation of obnoxious kids to show for it. The long drawn out explanations, mismatched consequences, etc may not be as effective as an immediate reaction to an egregious event. And if your kid ever looks at you and says “eff you” or other very hateful thing, you have my permission to spank them. Just be aware that that is more likely to happen when they are physically too big for it. [/quote]

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