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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This feels pretty even to me. I don't tend to think this kind of careful count is helpful, but if you're doing it, let's be systematic:

Spouse A
* Works in office 5 days a week; contributes one-fourth of household income
SPOUSE B
* Works in office 2-3 days per week with great flexibility; contributes 3/4 of HHI

Spouse A is spending more time on work and has less flexibility in work. I don't think the HHI contribution matters because we're talking about dividing up labor not income.

SPOUSE A
* Responsible for managing family calendar to include scheduling kids activities, camps, etc.
SPOUSE B
* Responsible for family finances including budgeting, retirement planning, bill pay

This seems like similar levels of labor to me.

SPOUSE A
* Does the holiday gift shopping
SPOUSE B
* Plans family vacations/trips

Spouse B is probably doing more work, but both of these intermittent obligations.

SPOUSE A
* Prepares the weekly grocery list for grocery store pickup
SPOUSE B
* Picks up and puts up groceries

I find planning to be a lot more work than picking up, so I'd vote that spouse A is doing more work.

SPOUSE A
* Washing and folding of kids laundry AND
* Schedules house cleaners (they aren't on regular schedule)
SPOUSE B
* Cleans house in between cleaners visits to include vacuuming/mopping, bathrooms, dusting

Cleaning is more work than laundry and scheduling, but it really depends on how much you're actually cleaning if you have cleaners.

SPOUSE A
* Prepares school lunches
Spouse B
* Packs school lunches and feeds kids breakfast

Feels fairly evenly matched unless breakfast is a major undertaking. Each is preparing one meal; packing a lunch someone else prepared isn't much work.

SPOUSE A
* Picks up kids from school
SPOUSE B
* Drops off kids at school and is the primary at-home parent (watches kids on no-school days, picks up kids when sick or early dismissals)

Spouse B is doing more here.

SPOUSE A
* Shuttles kids to evening activities with occasional help from spouse
SPOUSE B
* Primary shuttle for kids weekend activities with occasional help from spouse

Even unless there's a huge difference between weekend and weekday activity burdens. Weekday activities are a little worse on average because of traffic, to my mind, but it's a minor difference. Both get occasional help.

SPOUSE A
* Responsible for daily dinners every other week (mostly cooks packaged meals like frozen dinners)
SPOUSE B
* Responsible for daily dinners every other week (mostly cooks from scratch meals)

This is even. Spouse B's decision to cook from scratch is a choice which can be abandoned if this is too much work.

SPOUSE A
* Coaches/leads two kids sports/activities
SPOUSE B
* Coaches/leads two kids sports/activities

Obviously balanced.

That leaves two which aren't well paired

SPOUSE A
* Shops for kids clothes
SPOUSE B
* Responsible for house and yard maintenance and upkeep including planning and coordination of contractors for large projects and hands-on work for routine maintenance and repairs

Spouse B has a much bigger job here.

Most of those paired obligations are balanced. Where they're not balanced, Spouse A has one big extra obligation (work) and Spouse B has 2-3, but Spouse A's extra obligation is more constant (you work/commute much more than you organize big projects or deal with days off school). I'd find that balanced from either side, I think.[/quote]

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