Reply to What do you think you did right to have a close relationship with your adult child?

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[quote=Anonymous]My oldest is 18, so I'm navigating this now - we have a great relationship so far, but obviously it's still a new dynamic!

From the perspective of the adult child, though, my relationship with my own parents strengthened greatly through my 20s.  What they did:
- Accepted and supported my decisions, didn't pass judgement
- Offered advice only when asked for it (and then gave it more from the perspective of someone who's been around the block a few times, not so much as a parent advising a child)
- Began to treat me more like a peer than a child
- But were still there for me when I needed help or a shoulder to lean on
- Embraced my now-DH with open arms from the first time they met him, treated him like part of the family as soon as it became clear that I was serious about him
- Answered the phone whenever I called, but never pressured for more of my time or made me feel guilty about needing my own space
- Made it easy to get together, e.g.traveled to see me when I had little kids instead of expecting me to fly across the country, fit phone calls in according to my schedule even if the time zone made it awkward for them 
- Seemed genuinely happy for me when I had good news to share[/quote]

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