Reply to What do your son-in-law or daughter-in-law call you?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We are from a different culture. In our culture, most relationships have a name, and I had never ever heard anybody referring to elders just by their First Names. Even strangers were referred to as Uncle, Auntie, Big Brother, Big Sister, Grandma, Grandpa - based on their age.

My married DD was asked by her MIL-FIL to address them by their First Names. Somehow, I unconsciously cringe each time my DD mentions anything about her MIL or FIL and refers to them by their First Name - I find it shocking and disrespectful. As if I have failed to teach manners to my DD.

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Well that’s weird. She’s following her in-laws preference rather than imposing a cultural custom that’s outside of their comfort zone- surely that’s what someone with good manners would do? [/quote]

Well, why is that weird? Are you yourself not weird and close minded to call my cultural preference weird? LOL.

I am not asking anyone to change or interfering in any way or commenting. So I am not being uncouth and commenting.  But, I am sure in most cultures and around the world, ILs are not referred by first name by DILs and SILs.

IMO - when ILs ask to be called by First Name - it does not convey that these people are friendly, informal, laid back, friendly, approachable or drama-free.  It just shows a lack of clarity about their own role and place in the family.  It is an impediment in relation-building.  But, I would never say anything about it. [/quote]

I agree that in a lot of cultures elders are called grandma/grandpa because they're a grandma and a grandpa! Usually kids came along rather fast in any marriage. Until then people normally avoided using anything (or you can say Larla's/Larlo's mom or dad instead of their names as you refer to friends' parents). Here in the US women abhor being called grandma, as they want to be young! In other cultures being called a Grandma (or Nana, Mamma etc) is an honor. [/quote]

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