Reply to Noah Lyles wedding dress video -- who can relate?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm pretty sensitive but I think it was fine? He said it was good and even was like, "Damn, that's a train!"

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I think it's just that he doesn't say "you look beautiful" and his first comment is negative "that's not what I expected." You can tell she doesn't feel good about it and gets defensive. It's just a negative interaction on a day where there is a lot of pressure for everything to be special.

But, perhaps unpopular opinion, this is why "first looks" and the whole hiding the bride from the groom is dumb. I really think she's just wearing a totally different dress than he was expecting based on her past history, and he's surprised, and he says the first thing that pops into his head. The problem is that this entire moment has been arranged for the express purpose of him seeing her and being over the moon delighted with how great she looks. That's the ENTIRE PURPOSE of the "first look" moment, and it's why people hire a photographer/videographer to document it. There's a script for it.

But he's just a person. He's surprised how she looks. He needs a minute to wrap his head around it.

Imagine if instead of building this up into a huge thing with a very specific expectation for how everyone is going to feel and what they will say, everyone was just a bit more chill about weddings? What if the bride and groom got ready together, or the bride told the groom what her dress "vibe" was in advance, because they are a team and they do things together and aren't testing each other's commitments with "Surprise! Do you love my dress? First impressions only!!!"

I'm not defending him, I'd be hurt if I were in her position. But I also think the contrivance of the "first look" does not accommodate an understandable feeling like "oh, that's not what I was expecting you to wear." There's so much pressure. Why does there have to be so much pressure around weddings and courtship? Why can't we just be chill?[/quote]

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