Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lesson for men: just lie.

Yes, unreservedly. No matter how your wife looks on your wedding day you tell her she’s the most stunning, radiant bride you’ve ever seen. A beautiful princess, an earth angel. Glowing goddess.

Every woman deserves that reaction. Even if she crashed her bike the day prior and has a huge gash on her face. Or a tremendous pimple. Or a bad sunburn. Or a dress in a different style than you expected.

There is no reason to be mean to the woman marrying you on your wedding day. It will only paint you, yourself, in a bad light.

I really hate liars; I wouldn't want my man to be dishonest with me. Just be honest. Share your true feelings with me. I can take it.

Perhaps that's the kind of open communication he had with her.

Anonymous wrote:Lesson for men: just lie.

I think that men know this. We only pretend that men as so socially stunted that they don’t know how to behave.
If a coworker that you generally respect showed you his $7,000 Rolex, you would lie and say that you liked it, even if you thought it was kind of weird.

The real lesson for men is to treat women the way that you would treat a man that you like and respect.

Hope she eventually gets a generous settlement.

Ehhhh. 🚩
Best of luck to them though.

Anonymous wrote:I'm pretty sensitive but I think it was fine? He said it was good and even was like, "Damn, that's a train!"

I think it's just that he doesn't say "you look beautiful" and his first comment is negative "that's not what I expected." You can tell she doesn't feel good about it and gets defensive. It's just a negative interaction on a day where there is a lot of pressure for everything to be special.

But, perhaps unpopular opinion, this is why "first looks" and the whole hiding the bride from the groom is dumb. I really think she's just wearing a totally different dress than he was expecting based on her past history, and he's surprised, and he says the first thing that pops into his head. The problem is that this entire moment has been arranged for the express purpose of him seeing her and being over the moon delighted with how great she looks. That's the ENTIRE PURPOSE of the "first look" moment, and it's why people hire a photographer/videographer to document it. There's a script for it.

But he's just a person. He's surprised how she looks. He needs a minute to wrap his head around it.

Imagine if instead of building this up into a huge thing with a very specific expectation for how everyone is going to feel and what they will say, everyone was just a bit more chill about weddings? What if the bride and groom got ready together, or the bride told the groom what her dress "vibe" was in advance, because they are a team and they do things together and aren't testing each other's commitments with "Surprise! Do you love my dress? First impressions only!!!"

I'm not defending him, I'd be hurt if I were in her position. But I also think the contrivance of the "first look" does not accommodate an understandable feeling like "oh, that's not what I was expecting you to wear." There's so much pressure. Why does there have to be so much pressure around weddings and courtship? Why can't we just be chill?

It's okay not to like it. I don't, either. But he should had tried harder to feign delight, especially knowing he was being videoed.

I'm pretty sensitive but I think it was fine? He said it was good and even was like, "Damn, that's a train!"

This is so cringe. It reminds me of the wedding scene in “Eat, Pray, Love” where instead of doing their first dance the way they planned, he starts goofing off. Only he has no dance planned, so he just starts pointing at people.
He’s being so awful, but there is literally nothing she can do except laugh and act like it isn’t a big deal. She’s spent a year and tens of thousands of dollars planning this. She can’t get mad and ruin the day. All she can do is watch him be an a** and smile.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m surprised there was so much backlash about this. Maybe I’m a poor read of body language but he just seemed stressed and anxious being the center of attention.

My DH dreaded the wedding because he’s just so shy (he didn’t want to elope because he’s also close with his whole family, just hated being in the hot seat.) DH’s way of dealing with it was to also minimize the emotional, romantic side of the day, and sort of act ‘cold’ and detached.

That doesn’t seem to match the energy of a world class athlete who performs his sport on a global stage though. I’d love to see footage of them cutting the wedding cake. If he smashed icing on her, then, yeah. It’s case closed - he’s a red flag waving jerk, to say the least.

Noah Lyles is not shy and does not seem to have an issue being the center of attention. Have you seen him in any interviews?

I have seen interviews about him as an athlete but not him talking about personal w. I wonder if he’s just bashful about his relationship/intimacy? Lots of people don’t like to do any pda and hate their wedding day when they have to kiss in front of their entire family and friend group.

Not bashful. Says she slid into his DMs.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lesson for men: just lie.

Yes, unreservedly. No matter how your wife looks on your wedding day you tell her she’s the most stunning, radiant bride you’ve ever seen. A beautiful princess, an earth angel. Glowing goddess.

Every woman deserves that reaction. Even if she crashed her bike the day prior and has a huge gash on her face. Or a tremendous pimple. Or a bad sunburn. Or a dress in a different style than you expected.

There is no reason to be mean to the woman marrying you on your wedding day. It will only paint you, yourself, in a bad light.

This. Men need to understand the pressure women are under on their wedding day. It's what the groom feels x1000000. It's social expectations, family expectations, your friends, your fiancé, his family, and then your own expectations from years of thinking about it because girls are encouraged to think about their wedding day from toddlerhood whether they want to or not. It's a lot.

Show up for her, she's under siege. And if you have kids, get ready to do it again because that comes with all the same baggage for women, at least when it's the first pregnancy/baby.

All of this, plus it’s the first ever social event that you have planned, and it’s massive and extremely expensive and you are like 28. Before my wedding, the only social event I had ever planned was a house party that involved a keg and red solo cups. And somehow, with this experience, I was supposed to plan a black tie event for 200.

Eff anybody who doesn’t support the bride on her wedding day. Especially the groom. If you have thoughts or opinions on how things could have been different, keep them to yourself.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ok, I know he should have faked nice, but in his defense, that dress is odd (the top anyway).

I think the dress is lovely and I also totally understand why she picked it -- she's also an athlete (Jamaican sprinter) and she wanted to have a moment where, yes, she felt like a very feminine princess.

But that's also likely why he responded the way he did. My sense is that she has never presented herself this way at all. She wears revealing track clothes while competing and when she's done formal and red carpet appearances, her style is pretty sexy and revealing. He probably had a moment of "wtf". Now, he needed to process that and show up for his wife, and he didn't, and that sucks. But I also get why he was surprised given what I know about her personal style.

Weddings can be really weird for people. It is often a really contrived situation that has little resemblance to your real life, and it can feel surreal and out of body as a result. I think that's where his reaction is coming from.

You know, he doesn’t exactly have a reputation as a conservative dresser either, but she didn’t freak out about him being in a black tuxedo on their wedding day.

Anonymous wrote:I can even understand the nervous laughter being involuntary, but the stuff he was saying was awful. I do expect people to be able to think before they speak even on a big day.

He's in his 20s and has had stunted maturity due to his track career. I'm not surprised at all that he was unable to rise to the moment -- he's always had a history of running his mouth a bit, but no one tells a 6x world champion to shut up and be more self aware (they should, they don't).

This is a dramatic example but it's true for many people in their 20s who have not yet experienced criticism of their negative personality traits. Especially true if they've accomplished impressive things (great schools, prestigious job, highly paid). I've met plenty of young men and women who have this precise issue and the next decade of their life is rough as a result.

Teach your ambitious kids to be self aware and take criticism.

I can even understand the nervous laughter being involuntary, but the stuff he was saying was awful. I do expect people to be able to think before they speak even on a big day.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lesson for men: just lie.

Yes, unreservedly. No matter how your wife looks on your wedding day you tell her she’s the most stunning, radiant bride you’ve ever seen. A beautiful princess, an earth angel. Glowing goddess.

Every woman deserves that reaction. Even if she crashed her bike the day prior and has a huge gash on her face. Or a tremendous pimple. Or a bad sunburn. Or a dress in a different style than you expected.

There is no reason to be mean to the woman marrying you on your wedding day. It will only paint you, yourself, in a bad light.

This. Men need to understand the pressure women are under on their wedding day. It's what the groom feels x1000000. It's social expectations, family expectations, your friends, your fiancé, his family, and then your own expectations from years of thinking about it because girls are encouraged to think about their wedding day from toddlerhood whether they want to or not. It's a lot.

Show up for her, she's under siege. And if you have kids, get ready to do it again because that comes with all the same baggage for women, at least when it's the first pregnancy/baby.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m surprised there was so much backlash about this. Maybe I’m a poor read of body language but he just seemed stressed and anxious being the center of attention.

My DH dreaded the wedding because he’s just so shy (he didn’t want to elope because he’s also close with his whole family, just hated being in the hot seat.) DH’s way of dealing with it was to also minimize the emotional, romantic side of the day, and sort of act ‘cold’ and detached.

That doesn’t seem to match the energy of a world class athlete who performs his sport on a global stage though. I’d love to see footage of them cutting the wedding cake. If he smashed icing on her, then, yeah. It’s case closed - he’s a red flag waving jerk, to say the least.

Noah Lyles is not shy and does not seem to have an issue being the center of attention. Have you seen him in any interviews?

I have seen interviews about him as an athlete but not him talking about personal w. I wonder if he’s just bashful about his relationship/intimacy? Lots of people don’t like to do any pda and hate their wedding day when they have to kiss in front of their entire family and friend group.