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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, I'm going to suggest you tackle this as if you were eating an elephant.

First things first. You think the school evaluation is likely going to prove useless. So it's time to make an appointment for a private neuropsych or get a referral from your pediatrician for a psychiatrist to do some screening tests. If you can afford it, I'd recommend a neuropsych because it will give you the most information. The big practices that do these know their stuff - I recommend them over the smaller 1-2 person shops.

Second. Focus on connecting with your kid. See what you can do NOW to improve your relationship with her, find common ground etc. Start trying to figure out what kinds of scaffolding help fill in the gaps for her vs. exacerbating them. Let go of 'age appropriate' expectations and try to meet her where she is now. Focus on what you like about her and what she does well and come back to that when you are frustrated or worried or mad.

Third. Let her sign up for advanced classes next year - the start of high school is nearly six months away and whatever path you/she chooses now is not set in stone. Pick your battles, play the long game. If you are able to successfully execute steps 1 and 2, you'll have a lot more information to work with by the time high school starts.

Good luck! This stuff is really hard.[/quote]

OP here. Thanks, I think this is good advice.  Working on the connection.  And you may be right about the advanced classes.

I did learn today that she will qualify for an IEP - for executive functioning, anxiety, and social supports.  So that is good news and it aligns with our understanding of her gaps as well.  We will just need to deal with the anger and fallout from letting her know.

We don't have the full report yet, but based on my conversation with the school, her evaluations indicate she has a high IQ and is very advanced in all areas, especially cognitive and verbal skills, but average or below average in processing speed in fluid reasoning - which makes total sense.  She's so smart but is often unable to connect the bigger dots and solve basic problems.

All that to say - I am encouraged again that the school seems to have picked up on her challenges and is willing to address those needs.

The biggest hurdle of all will be getting our daughter to accept the help.  But I'm hopeful that if she starts hearing it from all different sides - from us, from the school counselor, her teachers, her therapist the school psychologists, that it will start to sink in for her.  Right now, she is extremely resistant to receiving any help at all, because to her, accepting "help" is a sign of weakness.[/quote]

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