Reply to Allowance in high school.....or job...or both

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here - Does anyone answering these questions have kids who are spenders?  My son definitely is and my daughter is somewhat too.  Curious what parents say they'll pay for vs insisting that kids pay for.  Clothing?  Outings?  Meals?  [/quote]
My 17 yr old DD is.  We say she has holes in her pockets.

We gave them allowances starting at 8, but the expectation was that they should get a job at 16 for spending money.  Both my DCs got jobs at 16, and that's when the allowance stopped. However, we also said that if this impacts grades, then they will need to have to drop the job, and we won't be giving them an allowance.

We buy them food, clothing, etc.. Everything else (going out with friends, buying crap at 5below, going thrifting..) these are all wants, not needs.

DD's grades were tanking due to having too much stuff going on. So we said that they had to drop the job or the activity because clearly, they can't handle both.  She asked if she drops the job, then would we give her allowance. The answer was "no".  This was her choice. She dropped the activity.  If she were truly motivated, I think she could've done everything, but  she's a bit lazy.

DD has gotten better about spending and has been saving (though not enough) for spending money at college. She decided to go OOS, which we can barley pay for, and we told her that there would be no spending money should she go this route.  She said that was fine, and she'd get a job at college.  As an aside, we told her if her grades start tanking in college, she'd have to come home and go to our nearest community college.

I despise how the wealth in this area creates entitled over privileged kids.  Dummy us for moving here.[/quote]

Np. My 18 yo ds is a spender. And I’ve made similar threats to my dc. I’ve posted on here before about his spending on going out with his girlfriend. Crazy stuff. The chivalry is nice and all, but it’s overboard and he of course spends on himself too. We live near public transport but he thinks he’s entitled to take Ubers around (I’m running late! it’s cold!) and eat take out regularly. Plus nice clothes, skin care products (these are necessities he says), non stop stuff for his sport etc.

He’s a year round athlete and spends 4-5 hours a day commuting to and from practice so he’s only been able to do weekend work. And frankly his grades are eh right now (senioritis). And of course there is prom coming up, a senior trip that I said he could go on in a weak moment. Just non stop burning  $$

I worry so so much about how to tamp this attitude down, and about when he’s in college (small private college). Will it get worse?

He attends a private HS and frankly I often wonder if it was a mistake. This sort of spending is normalized among his friend group. And I worry college will be more of the same, if not worse 
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