Anonymous
Post 03/04/2026 21:32     Subject: Allowance in high school.....or job...or both
I don't mind the Starbucks spending because it's a place kids can hang with their friends. Teens need places like that. There unfortunately aren't a lot of free places to do that.
Anonymous
Post 03/04/2026 18:37     Subject: Allowance in high school.....or job...or both
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP here - Does anyone answering these questions have kids who are spenders? My son definitely is and my daughter is somewhat too. Curious what parents say they'll pay for vs insisting that kids pay for. Clothing? Outings? Meals?

My 17 yr old DD is. We say she has holes in her pockets.

We gave them allowances starting at 8, but the expectation was that they should get a job at 16 for spending money. Both my DCs got jobs at 16, and that's when the allowance stopped. However, we also said that if this impacts grades, then they will need to have to drop the job, and we won't be giving them an allowance.

We buy them food, clothing, etc.. Everything else (going out with friends, buying crap at 5below, going thrifting..) these are all wants, not needs.

DD's grades were tanking due to having too much stuff going on. So we said that they had to drop the job or the activity because clearly, they can't handle both. She asked if she drops the job, then would we give her allowance. The answer was "no". This was her choice. She dropped the activity. If she were truly motivated, I think she could've done everything, but she's a bit lazy.

DD has gotten better about spending and has been saving (though not enough) for spending money at college. She decided to go OOS, which we can barley pay for, and we told her that there would be no spending money should she go this route. She said that was fine, and she'd get a job at college. As an aside, we told her if her grades start tanking in college, she'd have to come home and go to our nearest community college.

I despise how the wealth in this area creates entitled over privileged kids. Dummy us for moving here.


Np. My 18 yo ds is a spender. And I’ve made similar threats to my dc. I’ve posted on here before about his spending on going out with his girlfriend. Crazy stuff. The chivalry is nice and all, but it’s overboard and he of course spends on himself too. We live near public transport but he thinks he’s entitled to take Ubers around (I’m running late! it’s cold!) and eat take out regularly. Plus nice clothes, skin care products (these are necessities he says), non stop stuff for his sport etc.

He’s a year round athlete and spends 4-5 hours a day commuting to and from practice so he’s only been able to do weekend work. And frankly his grades are eh right now (senioritis). And of course there is prom coming up, a senior trip that I said he could go on in a weak moment. Just non stop burning $$

I worry so so much about how to tamp this attitude down, and about when he’s in college (small private college). Will it get worse?

He attends a private HS and frankly I often wonder if it was a mistake. This sort of spending is normalized among his friend group. And I worry college will be more of the same, if not worse
Anonymous
Post 03/04/2026 16:28     Subject: Allowance in high school.....or job...or both
Job
Anonymous
Post 03/04/2026 15:44     Subject: Allowance in high school.....or job...or both
Anonymous wrote:OP here - Does anyone answering these questions have kids who are spenders? My son definitely is and my daughter is somewhat too. Curious what parents say they'll pay for vs insisting that kids pay for. Clothing? Outings? Meals?

My 17 yr old DD is. We say she has holes in her pockets.

We gave them allowances starting at 8, but the expectation was that they should get a job at 16 for spending money. Both my DCs got jobs at 16, and that's when the allowance stopped. However, we also said that if this impacts grades, then they will need to have to drop the job, and we won't be giving them an allowance.

We buy them food, clothing, etc.. Everything else (going out with friends, buying crap at 5below, going thrifting..) these are all wants, not needs.

DD's grades were tanking due to having too much stuff going on. So we said that they had to drop the job or the activity because clearly, they can't handle both. She asked if she drops the job, then would we give her allowance. The answer was "no". This was her choice. She dropped the activity. If she were truly motivated, I think she could've done everything, but she's a bit lazy.

DD has gotten better about spending and has been saving (though not enough) for spending money at college. She decided to go OOS, which we can barley pay for, and we told her that there would be no spending money should she go this route. She said that was fine, and she'd get a job at college. As an aside, we told her if her grades start tanking in college, she'd have to come home and go to our nearest community college.

I despise how the wealth in this area creates entitled over privileged kids. Dummy us for moving here.
Anonymous
Post 03/04/2026 15:40     Subject: Allowance in high school.....or job...or both
Work is always good. If they are working they will have less time for spending and realize how long it takes to earn to cover the spend.

Work teaches a lot of life skills.
Anonymous
Post 03/04/2026 15:35     Subject: Allowance in high school.....or job...or both
I have a 13yo 8th grader. I am very similar to you. Mine isn’t out and about as much as yours yet but it’s getting there and I’m sure she will in HS.
She doesn’t get an allowance but I pay her $20 every 2 weeks for walking our 2 dogs in the morning on school days ( 5 days every 2 weeks) because I leave for work early on those days. I pay her because she has to get up earlier.
We pay $10 for every A on her report card as does a Grandparent.
She works as a mother’s helper about once a month now and makes $40 for 3 hours.

Next summer (2027) she wants to work as a lifeguard.

Anonymous
Post 03/04/2026 15:29     Subject: Allowance in high school.....or job...or both
I give my 15 year old an allowance ($50/month) and she also has a part time job. Most of my justification for the allowance is for food -- she's at school downtown and is very busy with schoolwork and activities, so doesn't always have time to prepare lunch. I'm ok with it. She works hard and doesn't waste money.
Anonymous
Post 03/01/2026 21:07     Subject: Allowance in high school.....or job...or both
In my opinion, school is already a job. I don’t think kids need to be working while focusing on school. I do think summer jobs are great and you can pay them allowance throughout the year from their summer earnings.
Anonymous
Post 03/01/2026 21:03     Subject: Allowance in high school.....or job...or both
Beware of the daily coffee to go habit. My son goes up a university level with a Starbucks on campus. I think the students can use meal points to pay for Starbucks. He is studying abroad this semester and says the girls from his school go to Starbucks every day (often twice a day) because they’re do used to doing it. Starbucks is smart. Gets the kids hooked in college and they’ll have customers for life.
Anonymous
Post 03/01/2026 20:36     Subject: Allowance in high school.....or job...or both
My teen does two varsity sports and has a rigorous school schedule so she can't work during the school year. She usually works 5-6 weeks of the summer. That income is hers to spend all year. I also give her a small allowance, enough for a Starbucks visit and a snack every week. I buy her most of what she needs, though.
Anonymous
Post 02/28/2026 10:55     Subject: Allowance in high school.....or job...or both
DS has a side hustle and makes more than most adults. We try to push him to save & invest all of that, and we supplement for daily stuff plus allowance as most parents do.
Anonymous
Post 02/24/2026 14:28     Subject: Allowance in high school.....or job...or both
With spenders it's tricky. It's either learned behavior from never having money or a personality trait. My mom could spend every penny and my father never did figure out how to put a stop to it.
Anonymous
Post 02/24/2026 13:55     Subject: Allowance in high school.....or job...or both
OP here - Does anyone answering these questions have kids who are spenders? My son definitely is and my daughter is somewhat too. Curious what parents say they'll pay for vs insisting that kids pay for. Clothing? Outings? Meals?
Anonymous
Post 02/24/2026 08:58     Subject: Allowance in high school.....or job...or both
My oldest is 16. Worked part time last summer and plans to again this summer. But, we haven’t made him spend his own money on anything yet. Occasionally, he goes to chipotle or Wendy’s with friends (maybe a couple of times a month). Once or twice a year, he does something like laser tag or bowling. He doesn’t go to the movies, go shopping, buy or request clothes (beyond the basics), go to Starbucks or convenience stores, etc. So it really isn’t much, and we don’t mind paying. He’s very frugal and doesn’t like spending anyone’s money. My kids never got an allowance.
Anonymous
Post 02/24/2026 03:35     Subject: Allowance in high school.....or job...or both
My dad gave me an allowance of $20 a week if I did all my chores well. I think this was smart, as I learned that to get extra spending money, I had to earn it. It was a decent amount of cash for me.

I eventually did work and go to school, but it helped me manage my time well.