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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The solution? Help to support her decision. 
“Your family is so lucky to have you”
“The best is yet to come”
“Tell me what you would like to do with that degree in the future”
Etc [/quote]

Exactly. Your friend is reaching out with these comments and you are thinking of them as surface annoyances. But when someone brings something up over and over, it's usually because it's weighing on them heavily. She's having a hard time with her identity and life choices, and I agree with others that probably the biggest issue is that society looks down on SAHMs and especially as kids get older, there is an attitude like, "oh what do you DO though" even if you spent two decades doing everything.

I think if you actually want to stay friends and not just ditch her because she has this annoying habit, you need to think empathetically about why she says this stuff. It's not to annoy you, it has to do with her own feelings and mindset.

Also consider that she may say it to you out of a fear that you don't respect her or don't think she's intelligent, and some part of her might feel the need to remind you that she was a very professionally successful person at some point. That she's not "just a mom." Is there anything you might be doing inadvertently to make her feel like she has to prove herself?[/quote]

Thanks. I am very very aware of the fact that there is somerthing internal going on with her.
 
I have been thinking about the last part a lot, especially because I have an equally impressive in my field but more current situation (I'm taking a break and consulting for now -- which is in part why the constant comments are annoying, they trigger my own insecurities). For the most part, my situation doesn't convey as well if you don't know the field, and I don't really talk about it anyway. But the difference was brought home when recently she said, you have no idea what it's like to 123 while XYZ, and I thought- well, I actually do, because I did that very specific thing, too! Which made it seem like - for every 100 times you have told me about your background, you literally don't even know what mine is (and I doubt she would via Google).

I think I need a socially acceptable access point to ask her if she's okay. I don't think telling her "your family needs you" if she clearly wants to get back in the workforce is the right approach. And I know she thinks she isn't going to be able to work again (early 50s) so saying "what do you want to do" feels like it might be implying she should do something when I believe she had tried and is now giving up.
   [/quote]

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