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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Option C- DW quits her job and becomes a SAHM, managing everything.

We chose two "less stressful" jobs that paid $160-200k and it's awful. We're both stressed out and can't make it to kid events. Per the new administration, neither of us has any telework whatsoever, so every kid sick day, snow day and doctor's appts is a massive struggle. Previously I would just take the kid to an appt and then work later and now I'm unable to do that, basically I have to take the whole day off now. I think to have a less stressful job you have to go down to 100k or less, but that wouldn't pay the bills.[/quote]

The two less stressful jobs can work well though - it’s just that right now sucks if both those are Fed jobs. My DH and I raised our kids this way and it was stressful sometimes, yes, but u do think the benefit is that there is no default parent in our house. We each have household chores we split into each of our domains but the parenting was really a team effort and we had a lot of family time - dinner every night, never missed kid events, and so forth.[/quote]

We are dual feds and it's just not working. Both of us actually downshifted into fed world, so we're at a loss for what we can do to get more quality of life. Work is incredibly stressful, zero flexibility around hours (can't take a kid to a Dr. and then come in an hour late, stay an hour later), zero telework. Honestly we can barely make a parent teacher conference anymore. Kids basically just exist at school or aftercare. Snow days mean that we take leave for the entire day and work just PILES up at work, meaning even more stress when we return from our annual leave.

We used to love both being present for the kids and there not being a default parents, but now that is effectively no parent at all. We miss every kid event unless they're at 6pm+. We pulled our kids from sports.

So my vote would be for a SAH parent and a parent who makes $$$. Like I said, DH and I both downshifted. One of us should have stayed working and the other just quit. It didn't seem equal to me though, but I see now that it would have been a better quality of life.[/quote]

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