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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’m a parent of young kids (toddler and baby). I need your help to think about the home environment I’m creating for them so they always are excited to come home as adults. Obviously, I know first and foremost will be cultivating a loving and safe emotional space for them, but I’m asking about whether there are any environmental aspects that could tip the scale. What do your adult kids love returning to?

For example, Californians seem to always make it back there after a few years in NYC.

Ideas:
- living in California
- family games you always played
- traditions tied to the house (eg, harvesting from the garden, super awesome neighborhood for Christmas decor)
- lots of pets/farm animals
- beautiful property
- pool/fun hangout spot for kids to bring friends [/quote]

Respectfully, OP, these are all wonderful things and you should do them if they make you feel good and they make your kids happy in childhood. But there’s no guarantee any of it will make them want to come back home. They will grow into adults and build their own lives with other people that they will to have to make decisions and compromises with, and some of them might not involve you. [/quote]

I feel like OP envisions building this family compound that her kids, their spouses, and grandkids will descend upon multiple times a year (and leaving the other set of grandparents in the dust, of course).

And a pool for "kids to bring friends" really doesn't matter after college-aged, so I don't even understand that one. and like a PP said, it's more of a hassle in the toddler years.[/quote]

My ILs have a pool and everyone’s kind of over it. There’s this almost aggressive expectation that the grandchildren are going to want to swim when they come visit (or come visit so that they can swim) and my kids generally don’t care about it. They want to play with their friends at our neighborhood pool.[/quote]

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