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[quote=Anonymous]I paid entirely for DD's traditional wedding (250K).   230 guests.  Middle of the road wedding for my community. 4 days of events. I would want to pay for a similar wedding for DS.

However, I do not owe my kids to pay for a lavish wedding.  I can pay for a temple wedding and a restaurant dinner for a few close friends and that would be it - if that's what I want to do.   Here is the thing - how much I want to pay or not pay for my kids wedding is entirely up to me.   The money is mine.  I don't owe them $200K if we spend only $50K.  If my kids felt entitled to my money, it will be really terrible.

I have paid to raise my kids till they got their first post college job, paid entirely for their college, paid for their first new car, paid to set them up in their new apartment once they get a job after college, paid $20K seed money when they started college, made them bank all their earnings (gigs, internships etc) and paid for the first 6 months of rent for them.  I think it is more than sufficient leg up that most people (including us) got.  As parents, we are financially secure and won't burden them. In their adult life - they need to afford their home, lifestyle, their children's future.   What we give or not give them is entire up to our wishes.

I would pay entirely for a traditional wedding of my culture as my last formal cultural obligation to them.  But if they want me to pay for a wedding that I did not agree with then they could use their own money to afford their wedding and I would gift them a modest sum ($20K) and attend as a guest.
 
NW is 7m. [/quote]

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