Reply to Breaking up with my toxic mom group (Ashley Tisdale essay)

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don't know one womens group that doesn’t eventually break up or splinter, for various reasons.

Even if they get together on occasion they are one big happy organism feeding positively off each other. They are many groups of 2 or 3 loosely connected to others.

Also friendship wax and wane that is life.

How do you get past 25 years old and not understand this. [/quote]

Yeah.  I kind of thought she really shot herself in the foot here by breaking off with every member of the group.  She should have just spent more time with the people she got along with and less time with the larger group.  [/quote]

It depends on the group dynamics. Reading between the lines, I think this group probably had a small number of dominant women who everyone in the group wanted to hang out with and that the bonds between other women were weaker. I've been around a group like this in a workplace and yes, it's a toxic dynamic. Very believable this would happen in a group of Hollywood moms because you know some of those women are more famous, richer, married to more famous or richer men, or in the midst of higher levels in their careers. Even if no one talks about it, it's going to impact how people see each other and who has more power in the group. The fact that these women were posting a lot of these outings on their public social media accounts, where not only other friends but also fans and media will see it, likely made this dynamic way worse -- posting a photo from your birthday party takes on whole new levels of clout if Mandy Moore or Hillary Duff is in the photo and commenting and liking it. It has tangible benefits to people and can be a way to build up a fan following and could lead to more work or better projects. It's gross that this is a thing but Hollywood is pretty gross sometimes.

Very likely that Ashley didn't have the same level of clout as others in the group, this led to her being left off invites while other famous members of the group were probably never left off invites, and this becomes an insult not just to Ashley as a friend, but to her career or her status within their industry. It really is a toxic dynamic because ultimately the friendships aren't based on real kinship and supporting each other, but become this cycle of clout chasing and people using their associations with certain members of the group to advance themselves socially and professionally. Not all friend groups are like this but it's very believable this particular group was like this, especially if they were all posting this stuff to their public social media.[/quote]

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