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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don't worry about anyone else's happiness anymore.  I make the food I can exercute that most people can reasonably enjoy eating, and I don't worry [b]if someone shows up and announces they don't eat xyz anymore. [/b] If people are late I don't push things back for them.  If they don't love their gifts (after insisting to us that adults need to exchange gifts), oh well.

The family wouldn't get together if I didn't host everyone (including out of town overnight guests) so I let myself off the hook for a lot.  I put my young kids first.[/quote]

I'll take this a step further. If you are super fussy about food and need a completely different menu, I'm just not inviting you. I'm not set up to be a restaurant and can barely manage a large family meal. Maybe I'd feel nicer if it's a kid with food allergies, but no, in my family it's adults with eating disorders parading as "gluten free" or low carb or selectively vegetarian. I now invite like this: "We're having prime rib, twice baked potatoes, popovers and sauteed mushrooms- would you want to come over for Christmas? If not, no worries, we'll see you in the new year!"

We also only exchange presents with kids, not adults.[/quote]

I am the person you are replying to, and agreed.  Food allergies or a medically restricted diet would be cheerfully accommodated.  Boomer almond moms who are now almond grandmas with an always-changing diet can sit at the counter with a bowl of hummus if they don't want pasta for dinner.  I just make sure to get those people snacks like fruit and string cheese and I don't worry about what kind of crazy thing they suddenly aren't eating this year.
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