Reply to Do I need to give a gift or tip kid's tutors?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I stopped giving gifts to teachers when my kids were in elementary school. Instead, I write heartfelt letters when I feel some have gone above and beyond. I applied the same to tutors when my kids were older. The exception is my kid's violin teachers, who we've know for years and years (she's had 2 in her life), and who receive small food gifts from us. But teachers or tutors that come and go... no.[/quote]

Me again. It's not about whether someone can afford to give a Holiday bonus. It's about subtle considerations of class, on top of the fact that I don't really believe in offering Holiday bonuses. I am not in a profession where that happens, and no one in my circle is either, so this no doubt colors my thoughts on this. I have paid as much as $350/hr for a specialized AP Physics C tutor for one of my kids... and he certainly did not expect any monetary gifts from any of his families. At that level, the tutor is a respected professor with a PhD and he doesn't want to be treated like the help. I'm a research scientist. If I were to tutor someone on the side, I would be a little shocked to be given a tip! My kid's violin teacher charges $120/hr, like all violin teachers of that caliber. A little something for his well-appointed home, or treats for his kids, is what's socially appropriate. None of these people are trash collectors, who actually might need, and be grateful for, some financial supplement.

Not only is it acceptable to decline to participate in bonuses as a matter of principle, it is also imperative to understand the social dynamics at play.[/quote]

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