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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote] There’s constant conflict in our household and it’s also affecting my marriage. I am extremely upset and frustrated with my husband for being a poor male role model and for his lack of male leadership in this situation. [/quote]

What do you mean by a lack of male leadership?  I'm genuinely asking (have been a single mom for the past seven years, my ex is basically a nice guy to my son but lives quite far and so involvement is necessarily not that much).[/quote]

Op here. Re lack of male leadership or role model - again, this is just my opinion and the situation in my immediate household. I am not a single mom - my husband is a nice guy and around and lives in the same household - but he is completely not involved with DS and has very little desire to do anything or go anywhere with him. He doesn’t have meaningful discussions with him about anything. He doesn’t take him out to play soccer, jog, go for a bike ride, throw a football, walk the dog, camp, go fishing, or do the other typical Dad things I see neighborhood dads doing with their sons. He hasn’t talked to him about puberty or related. When I ask him to have a father/son talk about puberty he says “I learned about puberty from stealing my dad’s playboys and so can DS.” DS used to talk to me but now I can tell he isn’t comfortable always confiding in me anymore. He wishes he had an older brother he said. The times DH has gone to appointments with DS he sugarcoats the problems which is counterproductive. When I wanted to have DS repeat a grade to catch up maturity wise, DH pushed back and got DS against the idea.

In some ways being a single parent I’d almost easier than having a spouse who is disinterested or counter productive. [/quote]

That's really heartbreaking. I had a super disinterested dad and it hit me (a girl) differently than my brother. I think it really hit his sense of self. As in, if my dad doesn't want to hang out with me and doesn't find me inherently interesting and valuable just for being me, what am I worth, really? I don't have any magic words for you but I am sad for you and your son. My mother also lacked the ability to make my dad see reason here. And now neither of them have more than a surface-level relationship with us. If you have any ability to talk some sense into your DH and get him to care, DO IT.[/quote]

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