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[quote=Anonymous]Every day I fail. I fail to get my steps in. I fail to get my work done — to get that project finished and that other project started. I fail to be the beatific warm mother full of grace that I want to be. I fail to go to yoga. I fail to return that text, and that email, and that phone call. All of these quotidian failures add up to a cumulative failure — to be the kind of person who was Reaching Her Full Potential or whatever.

But what if they’re not failures? Or at least not failures with a capital F? What if they’re just an imperfect person moving through a noisy, imperfect world?

And by extension, what if your situation isn’t a failure either? What if, in fact, you kept your marriage going longer than a lot of other people would have? What if you learned about yourself, and marriage, in the process and are going to someday, in some way, use what you learned? What if that’s as simple as this: someday you will be kind to a person who is in a dark place? This is small, but at the same time it is everything.

I don’t know. Sometimes I think we beat ourselves up as a way of proving to ourselves that we care. But the caring already exists, it’s there whether we beat ourselves up or not. So what if you didn’t beat yourself up quite as much?

I wish you safety, good health, sparks of joy, and most of all ease living in this world — exactly as you are. [/quote]

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