Reply to On a scale of 1-10 how rude is it

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think there are a lot of relevant factors to be considered (relationship, cause of delay, the guest’s behavior, etc.) that aren’t discussed here.  A distant cousin coming in late because they had a hair appointment and expecting to order a meal when they get there is significantly different from a grandchild coming as soon as they get off work (when the organizers knew there was a conflict and scheduled it anyway) to give Granny a hug and maybe have a piece of cake.[/quote]

This. Also excusable would be something like the elderly person's child, spouse, lover, close relative coming in from far away and then staying the week. The surprise is them being there at all, no repairs if they miss the official thing.

If it's a large party with a private space in the restaurant I think ok to write the planner to say "we couldn't get there till x time but we'd love to give good greetings and drop off a card/gift/etc. Will you be lingering for coffee if we stopped by after the lunch? Or is it better to mail it?" That makes it clear you don't expect to be fed but you do want to honor the main person.[/quote]

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