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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I disagree with chores being mandatory. One of the things we have done with my son is to eliminate additional responsibilities so as to reduce the stress of not having enough time to get everything done. Also we make family dinners optional. (And before someone brings up OP’s DD’s eating issues, my son was FTT and followed every 6 weeks by doctors because his weight dropped to the 0.03rd percentile). We also medicated despite a cardiac condition with care being coordinated by both a psychiatrist and a cardiologist.

I provided feedback on the other thread so I won’t repeat it here. But the more OP writes, the more I think her anxiety and her vision of what her family should look like interferes with her parenting the child she has. For example, you don’t avoid medication until after you have exhausted avenues for effective and safe use. And if removing chores might provide the extra time needed for schoolwork and redid her anxiety, to don’t keep forcing chores because yo think everyone should do chores. You treat your child as the individual she is with the needs she has. [/quote]

We have not been enforcing the chores with her.  That's my point.  Pretty much everything else has fallen off the radar for her except for homework.  Chores, friends, and even things that she used to enjoy - like her hobbies, going outside, hiking, and watching family movies.  She'll say she doesn't have time for any of it. [/quote]

Sorry, I misread.

With regard to sleeping and eating, those were issues for us too. We took our son to a sleep clinic and went through a lot of sleep therapy. In the end, he learns all of the tools but it did t make a difference, though I get a lot of benefit from what we learned. My son would just lay in bed awake half the night no matter what we did. And we later learned that after we fell asleep he would go out for walks, which was terrifying.

As do eating, we also used an eating clinic. (He was FTT and had so many aversions and he never felt hunger). In the end that don’t work well either. The final recommendation was to get in calories of any type whenever and however we could. That improved when he went on medication (can’t recall which one) and he finally learned hunger. He still has food aversions. But he eats now. This was complicated because he took stimulants do severe ADHD.

Mine is older than yours now but one thing we have seen is this. Control over the ADHD is the single only effective thing to keep focus and perfectionism under control, which keeps the time on schoolwork manageable. [/quote]

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