Reply to Please help me help my daughter

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Wow people are extra judgmental here. OP I’m sorry she’s struggling so much.

She’s in 8th grade, so grades don’t matter. I’d talk to the school and see if you can have teachers hold on HW for her for a few months. Or very limited, like 3 math problems, a time limit etc.

This is a mental health (and disorders eating, so physical as well) crisis. Doing pre-Algebra problems simple doesn’t matter.

Get her out of homework and into therapy [/quote]

OP - Ignore the mean posters. The PP above is an approach you should consider.  The perfectionism you describe does sound like OCD possibly - if you can get her evaluated for that, it might be helpful if you try meds.

It is great that you are addressing this with an 8th grader - she is still so young and has a long time left in your home for her to work on healthier habits. School is the least of your worries. Don't let your fear of her getting "off track" at school drive your choices with how to help her.

I wonder if you have communicated to her - "sweetie, I can see that you are really struggling and I want you know that your health and well being are the most important thing here. Your grades are not the most important thing.  Let's drop the focus on that and help you get the sleep and nourishment you need.  Your dad and I are on your team.  And we are bringing in some experts because you are that important to us."

If the eating remains a problem, after she calms down and has more bandwidth, put your focus on that.  You don't want to let that get away from you.  Good luck OP.  You can do this!

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