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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Met one of my close friends through our daughters’ shared activity when they were little. Friends for almost a decade, family meet ups where kids would all play together but we stopped during Covid. Our girls were friends but at different school districts, only saw each other occasionally. At the start of HS, my DD struggled socially, had few female friends, but a bunch of guy friends. I suggested a couple times that we should get the girls together. Friend’s DD was outgoing and popular. Friend announces that she doesn’t want to ‘force’ her kid to be friends with people who might not be good for her child (meaning my more socially awkward introverted and not-as-popular kid). Meanwhile, her DD is in a high-drama friend group w/girls who are self-harming, etc. Friend compared asking her DD to hang out with ‘asking her to be friends with a kid in a wheelchair just because they’re disabled’. I was shocked, ended the friendship. She has since apologized, said her words came out wrong, she was just trying to make sure her DD was emotionally healthy and making the best choices for herself. I only suggested we all get together sometime so girls could hang out, not be best friends or force anything. The loss of her friendship has really bothered me, and I wonder if I should have just let it go? But also, my DD is a great kid- kind, straight A student, and definitely not a ‘bad influence’. Should I have overlooked her comments? Losing a close adult friend is tough. [/quote]

What she was trying to tell you is her daughter might have looked like she had it all but was also struggling and your friend asking her to hang out with daughter was going to cost her something with her own relationship with her daughter.  So she put her and her kid’s needs first.  Her kid didn’t want to hang out with your kid and she shouldn’t have to.  Forcing kids this age to hang out with other kids sucks.  And being in the position when your kid is the one who doesn’t want to hang out is tough.  Sounds like your friend handled it poorly.  What she said is beyond clumsy and rude.  But I also think you put her in a bad spot.[/quote]

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