Reply to How much is too many times to move a kid

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[quote=Anonymous]People are bringing up good points in this thread but the problem is that most of them can't be applied in a vacuum. Each family's situation is different. For example:

1. Kids need stability. This is true! However, how would you assess a family move from DC, which has a very transient population and kids often don't go to neighborhood schools, to a location with a much more settled population where almost everyone attends the local public schools? I know multiple people who made a move like this with kids at the elementary and middle school age, and the goal of the move was specifically "stability." They were tired of living in a place where there was zero guarantee that their kids would attend HS with their elementary or MS classmates, where close friends uprooted and moved away for foreign postings for new jobs with some frequency. So sometimes moving offers more stability than staying where you are.

2. Moving when kids are older is harder on kids because it's harder to break into school groups. I think this is sometimes true but highly dependent on the kid and where you move. Friend groups tend to break apart and reform at MS and again at HS no matter where your kids go to school. Some kids have an easier time breaking into friend groups due to their personalities. Others have hobbies/activities that can provide ready-made friend groups wherever they go (like sports teams, and the better your kid is at the sport, the more true this is. Also who moves as a sophomore in HS to a diverse school that is broadly accepting of outsiders (say an urban school or a private where few students attended the same elementary schools) might have an easier time making friends than a 2nd grader who moves to a school in an extremely insular community where people have no time or energy for a new family, especially since the HS sophomore will have more freedom to make friends on their own whereas the 2nd grader will be almost entirely dependent on parents who may really struggle to make friends in a community like that.

So it's complicated. Each move is different. "Too many" will depend on the move, the kid, the school, where they are coming from, and a dozen other factors that it's hard to summarize into a rule of thumb.[/quote]

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