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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My parents, adult brother, adult sister and me all live within an hour of each other. My sister and I take turns hosting Easter, Thanksgiving and Christmas for all of our families. This year I'm dong Thanksgiving and my sister is doing Christmas. Everyone is invited: my parents, siblings, kids, holiday guests and strays etc.

But my brother always declines to host and attend these gatherings. His family just does their own small thing or they go out of town. His wife's family has passed away so it's not like they're spending time with them. This has been going on for years. He does take our parents out for holiday meals at restaurants and sometimes invites my family. Is he being rude by not hosting everyone and/or coming to our holiday get togethers?

I should also add there's seemingly no estrangement. Because he does see my parents separately. And my kids, his kids and our sister's kids all hang out and do playdates so we see each other about once a month. Just not on holidays. What's up with that.[/quote]

How is your brother choosing to spend the holiday with his own immediate family which isn’t his parents and siblings anymore it is now his wife and child ride? That’s such a weird take to say someone choosing not to spend holidays with extended family but their own immediate family is rude. And if his wife’s family has passed away maybe it makes her sad to be around her husband’s family it’s like a reminder of what she lossed and of course your brother will put his wife first and prioritize her bc of course his wife is more important than his sister. Maybe she prefers it just to be her own immediate family. Have you considered your SIL in any of this and how it may affect her? It seems like you care more about your relationship with your brother than your SIL and her feelings and what she might be dealing with or going through. Have a heart and some empathy here. [/quote]

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