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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]So many things! My career is essentially a failure -- I have a job but the money I spent on a graduate degree and my early ambitions were totally for nothing. When I talk to friends from grad school and right after about work, I can see the bewilderment that I am where I am. But I just flamed out -- I wasn't good enough, didn't have the energy, and couldn't cut it. I feel fortunate to have a steady paycheck doing work that isn't physically taxing. I'm rounding on 50 and have to accept it's as far as I'm ever going to get in this career.

I have some ambition to maybe start a small business or pursue a second career in a less competitive field once my kid's college is taken care of and I can take that kind of risk.

I also had a huge social failure about 10 years ago I'm still recovering from. Not romantic -- I had a falling out with a friend and almost everyone in our mutual friend group took her side. It was really brutal -- a ton of rejection all at once. In the midst of my career sputtering out, it was a really tough time. I got depressed, when to therapy, and really struggled for several years.

To be honest, this stuff still stings a little bit. But I have a nice life now. My job is small but it has its satisfactions (and perks -- the one thing about having a job that is no big deal is that it leaves you with a lot of bandwidth to pursue other passions, including parenting). I have a good group of friends and I also learned I'm more resilient than I thought, and also that even if other people don't like me, I can still love myself.

I find the Mary Oliver poem Wild Geese to be encouraging. Good luck, OP![/quote]

Wow. Thank you for your heartfelt and thoughtful post. Your kids and employer should be grateful to have you!! I’m feeling kinda stuck for my next step and this note is inspiring. Thank you! [/quote]

I'm really glad I could help! One thing about failing is that it's made me very empathetic towards people who are "in process" and I try to channel that in positive ways. I have this idea I want to do some kind of teaching/coaching as a second career.[/quote]

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