Reply to Ladies, Do Your DHs Know About Your One Night Stands?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote]There were so many, I can't even remember dates or when or whatever. People have sex.

I've had hookups, he's had hookups. Who cares? I don't expect him to tell me about his ONS or who gave him the best BJs or whatever. On the list of important things in a partner, that doesn't even make the top 100.[/quote]

Yes, people have sex. And some people are promiscuous.

You ask, "Who cares?". Many people consider discrimination regarding who they sleep with as one of the most important things in a partner.  Specifically, they want to be with a man (or a women) who treats sex as a special part of a relationship, rather than an unimportant act they will do with many people.

When you know that a person has "hooked up" with so many people that they cannot remember details, you see that they do not place any value on who or when they shared their bodies. And you cannot believe that you are more special to them than the ____ (insert some number) they were with before you.[/quote]

Interesting perspective. I don't see it that way at all. I live more in the present moment, and for me, in that moment, that person is the center of the entire universe. It's extremely special and intimate. And each partner is different - with my last FWB, we explored certain things that worked for us. With my current partner, we explore different things that work for us. Each are fun, fulfilling, and special to me.

But everybody has to do what works for them. Nobody should force themselves to have sex they don't want, and nobody should hold back from sex they do want for fear of what future partners may think about the "specialness". And always a very, very good idea to make sure your sexual values match - I would be miserable with someone who was more focused on partner count than exploration and openness. BTDT, and it was exhausting to hear "so who did you do THIS with?!" every time I requested something.

As for remembering details - I'm old enough I've been having sex for nearly 25 years, I definitely don't remember the details of who I hooked up with in college! [/quote]

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