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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I was hit very rarely but not once in my memory did I deserve it.

My parents were very stressed, and not very emotionally intelligent. They naturally fell into the expected pattern set by their parents.

I have a normal relationship with them not close but around, but underneath I despise their actions to a young child.

I don't fully trust anyone immediately. There's a long vetting process. [/quote]

This. It also took me a long time as an adult to not internalize other people's mood swings and especially their anger or frustration. As a kid, my parents' or frustration would get taken out on me, because of their inability to handle their own emotions. So when I encounter other people with anger or frustration, I immediately look at my own behavior -- is this my fault? This led to people pleasing and also just beating up on myself all the time for stuff that wasn't my fault. I think I attracted people like my parents into my life -- immature people who wanted to blame all their feelings on other people and liked that I would accommodate and forgive their behavior. It took into my late 30s, and after therapy and a lot of self work, to understand these patterns and learn to let other people own their own feelings and actions.[/quote]

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