Reply to My Parents Are Useless: In-laws Are Great :(

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You are expecting too much from your parents. Parents aren't there to help with your kids or pay for your kids. If you get that from even one side, you've won the lotto.[/quote]

I am expecting too much of them to be involved or even care about my grandkids at all?? That seems like a very low bar. I was not expecting them to do everything for me, but they are not even making an effort at all. I cannot rely on them for literally anything and they have the nerve to suggest that I should spend money on a nanny when they [b]can’t even come for the weekend (occasionally) to help out.[/b] Thats fine if they don’t have money to help out, but they should. criticize me for not spending 4K+ a month on childcare when they are unwilling to help. [/quote]

You are the one who chose to have kids. It is not a grandparent's responsibility to come for a weekend to watch your kid for free/"Help out". We don't live near either set of grandparents and they are all more hands off; neither set has every given us money to pay for kids things. I find it insane that people even expect that.

Sure there are grandparents who love to do this sort of thing. Sounds like your in-laws are those people and that is wonderful. But doing that it THEIR CHOICE and should not be a completion to be better grandparents than your parents. And it they are upset because they do so much and your parents do nothing I have to wonder if you are asking them to do too much and take on too much responsibility with YOUR kids.

I get it we all want our parent to be those grandparents who are super selfless and involved, but some just aren't like that. I always loved the stories of grandparents who have Grammy camp and take the kids for the week. Sounds lovely, but that is not not everyone's style. My parents are great, but they are not the grandparents who visit for long periods of time or offer to watch our kids for a weekend. They do more for my siblings who live closer, but even then they aren't watching their kids all the time or having them stay with them all weekend.

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