Reply to My Parents Are Useless: In-laws Are Great :(

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Your in-laws are completely out of line if they're judging your parents. That's rude. Providing help when you're a grandparent should not come with strings attached, like expectations that the other side will pitch in at a similar level.

I understand that you are disappointed in your parents, because you're their child and you had expectations. But ultimately your parents are free to live how they want. Similarly, you are free to tell them that they're not as present as your in-laws, and *you are also free to not help your parents when they're old and decrepit*.

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Her inlaws aren't saying or doing anything but being wonderful.

OP, my parents are useless and I have fantastic inlaws. Considering the inlaws a blessing and just accept your parents for what they are.

Long term, we have a much, much closer relationship to my inlaws. I've cared for them while ill, and even moved my FIL for hospice before he passed so he would be comfortable. I would never, ever provide this sort of labor to my parents. I don't care for them, they manage their own health and even in old age, they are in assisted living/nursing homes with care with dementia because I will not get entangled in things. They have Medicaid and burned through their money so they are set. [/quote]

This, OP.  It will  work out. Be grateful for the kind people in your life.

Also, your parents are not required to do anything helpful for your kids. At all.  If they are willing, that is great, and you can thank them and be appreciative.    If they promised to do things and then didn't perhaps that is different. But you had expectations in your head of what grandparents do that didn't match theirs. Hence, they think they are wonderful grandparents, because perhaps they are according to their expectations.

But you are not required to wait on *them*, either.  Nor are you required to listen to them or spend lots of time with them or worry about what they think.

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