Reply to Anger towards enabler parent

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The past history is one thing, the current situation is another. Many adults find it well-nigh impossible to care for an elder, even if they had an idyllic relationship with them before, OP. Instead of blaming everything on the parental dynamics, focus on how to discharge yourself from caregiving duties.

Also, age is making your father worse than he was before. Confused people in cognitive decline tend to get caught up in weird beliefs and have reduced emotional control. He wasn't always like this. Now he is. Accept it. You will change too, for the worse. A lot of stuff you complain about regarding your parents will happen to YOU. Do you want your children to write what you just wrote?

So approach this from a practical perspective and forbear from judging, instead of torturing yourself with resentment.

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This.  Does not matter what kind of parent you have/had, cognitive decline of old age will change them.  Also, taking care of them is hard.   You can accept it and make other arrangements if it is possible.  I am not in the best of health and I am only 60.  Next 20 years, I have to take care of my health and make arrangements so that my kids are not saddled with my care. If need be, I will move back to the country of my origin and be able to afford care there.  I have to make arrangements while my brain still works. [/quote]

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