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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This thread simply reinforces my desire to die or be able to end my life before I end up in any stage or memory care.

Honestly, what are we doing as a society.

My MIL's sister is in one of these places. No one can visit her without becoming emotionally shaken because it's so depressing.[/quote]

OP, I'm sorry.  These exorbitant costs are typical.

If you are self-paid, there isn't any cheap option.

You can look for other options, but don't despair if you can't find a much cheaper option.  It's okay to "die with zero".  Saving for that goal alone is okay.  Just not to be a financial burden on you and your kids, OP, would make your parents happy if they could think through it.

In rural or low-cost areas, the "rambler home" type approach mentioned above is more common and actually a pretty calm life.  My grandma-in-law was in one of those for a few years.  The caretakers were calm and did what was needed.

The miserable places are usually larger with more overworked staff and a less home-like, more hospital-like environment.

Keep care of your health, your family's health, and your retirement savings.  At some point there really isn't much good in paying for better care in a facility.  I would look to a family-based solution if there's a possibility to share care across people.  One person can't do it alone in today's world.  We spend too much time outside the home (e.g., we don't live on farms with all our chores and food work ready at hand).[/quote]

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