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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. Thank you. I’m not trying to be mean or judgmental about my daughter. Last night I was just feeling really bad because I’d planned something fun. We were with a group and her lack of participation and seeming unhappiness was really stressing me out. Someone else in the group (close to my age not hers) was worried they’d upset her or that she was upset. And I had to explain that no she was usually like this and they hadn’t done anything. I still don’t really know how to relate to her. :( I understand companionable silence and that’s fine sometimes like when you’re hanging around the house or going for a walk in the park. But sometimes it feels really weird to be with someone physically who feels extremely emotionally far away.

I guess I don’t know whether to ignore it. Like if she’s not talking, do I talk to her knowing I’m not going to get much response? Do I try to engage her? Because that just seems to make her annoyed with me. But ignoring her feels mean and like why are we together? It’s very confusing. I do have trouble believing her because her entire body is telling me one thing even though her words later tell me another. :([/quote]

1. Ignoring an autistic person who isn't talking to you is not mean. It's polite. Nothing confusing about that.
2. You need to be very direct with her, and ASK if you're not sure. "I want to chat right now, are you OK with that?" She will be direct right back: "yes" or "no".

[/quote]

But in a group when you’re all talking and she’s the only one not talking? She will say yes but then give very short answers that don’t give or take. So the conversation ends.

She does not view herself as being on the spectrum. She gets upset if I ever mention it, so I don’t. It would be easier if she did and we could just be honest about it.

I don’t know if I’m making any sense. :([/quote]

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