Reply to We may be separating—still take the vacation?

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[quote=Anonymous]Every marriage/family is different. You have to figure out what works for yours. If you and your husband aren’t in love any more, but get along and have no trouble cooperating as a team (friendly roommates), then contemplate talking to your dd about the separation well in advance of the vacation and explain that you and she will be sharing a bed instead of you and dh, but that you’re still a family and will be taking the planned family vacation together. It may be reassuring your dd, in the face of this devastating development, to see the two of you relaxed and able to have fun in each other’s company.

If things are strained between you and your husband and you can’t have a fun time together, vacationing together is not an option.

My husband and I have been separated for several years. Our split was painful, but we’ve had time to heal. We have an easy rapport between us again. Last summer we took a big vacation with our teenagers because the kids won’t be at home much longer. We booked two rooms and each stayed with one kid. It was a great vacation and everyone had a good time. We’ve never stopped celebrating holidays together, as a family. Will it be this way forever? Probably not, but since we get along, at least until the kids are launched, this is a gift we can give them.

You have to make these decisions on a case by case basis, depending on how you’re getting along at the time. I agree with a pp; you absolutely should not pretend everything is normal, go on this vacation, and then drop this bomb on your child. That will make it seem like you’ve been lying to her.[/quote]

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