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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Neither role gets done well. Lots of guilt on both ends. [/quote]

100%.  With some rare exceptions, if you want a successful career, your family life will suffer.  If you prioritize your family, your career suffers.  All the men VPs at my company have SAH wives.  The women are all either single or have a stay at home spouse or spouse with a lower level, flexible job.

Now that my kids are close to graduating HS, I regret all the time and effort I spent climbing the ladder at the expense of family time.  On the flip side, if I hadn’t done so, we would not have had the same lifestyle- the big house, private schools, etc.  If I had a do-over, I might have made different choices. [/quote]

Agree as well. It's hard. I don't feel like I'm "enough" in either space. I try to prioritize kids' needs over anything else and let the rest of the chips fall as necessary, but I'm not always successful at that. I'm an attorney and went from being an employee (which I certainly prefer) to owning my own firm, which is higher stress but also much higher flexibility, which is necessary for family availability. I choose what cases I will accept carefully (vs. having cases handed to me and having to work whatever I've been given), I choose to work at home two days/week, I choose to leave by 5:30 no matter what. My husband has a much less stressful job, with lots more flexibility, so he cooks and does some cleaning, but does none of it well TBH (not intending to be mean, just honest) and there's a lot of just accepting it for what it is, on my part - a little messy, a little less healthy or tasty, but everyone's needs are met and we're just doing our best. [/quote]

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