Anonymous
Post 05/13/2025 22:19     Subject: Moms with fancy jobs
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Neither role gets done well. Lots of guilt on both ends.


100%. With some rare exceptions, if you want a successful career, your family life will suffer. If you prioritize your family, your career suffers. All the men VPs at my company have SAH wives. The women are all either single or have a stay at home spouse or spouse with a lower level, flexible job.

Now that my kids are close to graduating HS, I regret all the time and effort I spent climbing the ladder at the expense of family time. On the flip side, if I hadn’t done so, we would not have had the same lifestyle- the big house, private schools, etc. If I had a do-over, I might have made different choices.


Agree as well. It's hard. I don't feel like I'm "enough" in either space. I try to prioritize kids' needs over anything else and let the rest of the chips fall as necessary, but I'm not always successful at that. I'm an attorney and went from being an employee (which I certainly prefer) to owning my own firm, which is higher stress but also much higher flexibility, which is necessary for family availability. I choose what cases I will accept carefully (vs. having cases handed to me and having to work whatever I've been given), I choose to work at home two days/week, I choose to leave by 5:30 no matter what. My husband has a much less stressful job, with lots more flexibility, so he cooks and does some cleaning, but does none of it well TBH (not intending to be mean, just honest) and there's a lot of just accepting it for what it is, on my part - a little messy, a little less healthy or tasty, but everyone's needs are met and we're just doing our best.
Anonymous
Post 05/13/2025 21:55     Subject: Moms with fancy jobs
most important thing: only one kid

Also:
- supportive husband with a flex job. But he doesn’t contribute that much to running the household. He’s currently out of town for two weeks for work, and it’s no big deal - I’m used to keeping stuff running.
- full time remote work
- worked PT 30 hours a week for ages 1-5
- I’m outrageously organized and like to be doing stuff all the time.

Currently make 1.5m. Dh makes another 1m.

No sacrifices by either of us. Extremely successful marriage. Extremely involved with my kid, do bus drop off and pick up every day (MS currently), dinner all three of us together every night. Dh and I have a pre dinner drink together every night. Also exercise daily. Never had a nanny or regular babysitter. Sleep 8 hours a night.

Ultimately, the key is only one kid, remote work and being organized and enjoy doing stuff. Not everyone is wired to be able to do what I do - in the job or in my personal life.
Anonymous
Post 05/13/2025 21:33     Subject: Moms with fancy jobs
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Neither role gets done well. Lots of guilt on both ends.


100%. With some rare exceptions, if you want a successful career, your family life will suffer. If you prioritize your family, your career suffers. All the men VPs at my company have SAH wives. The women are all either single or have a stay at home spouse or spouse with a lower level, flexible job.

Now that my kids are close to graduating HS, I regret all the time and effort I spent climbing the ladder at the expense of family time. On the flip side, if I hadn’t done so, we would not have had the same lifestyle- the big house, private schools, etc. If I had a do-over, I might have made different choices.


NP and agree and appreciate the honesty. There’s no hidden secret, there are trade offs and just not enough hours or energy to do it all. We each just do the best we can and do the work/momming mix that works for us.
Anonymous
Post 05/13/2025 21:00     Subject: Moms with fancy jobs
Anonymous wrote:Neither role gets done well. Lots of guilt on both ends.


100%. With some rare exceptions, if you want a successful career, your family life will suffer. If you prioritize your family, your career suffers. All the men VPs at my company have SAH wives. The women are all either single or have a stay at home spouse or spouse with a lower level, flexible job.

Now that my kids are close to graduating HS, I regret all the time and effort I spent climbing the ladder at the expense of family time. On the flip side, if I hadn’t done so, we would not have had the same lifestyle- the big house, private schools, etc. If I had a do-over, I might have made different choices.
Anonymous
Post 05/13/2025 20:45     Subject: Moms with fancy jobs
Anonymous wrote:I switched to freelance work because I didn’t have childcare and would get fired quickly for needing to take sick days (single mom).

Over about 3 years I spent every spare minute learning (podcasts, courses, etc), building a portfolio, and networking so I could become one of the best in my field. Every time I made a sale, I raised my prices while also lowering the scope of work, so I got paid more to do less.

Right now I hover at about 4 hours of work a day for $10-20k/month. I can scale up or down as needed.

Currently building up the biz to scale to $100k/month with a 50-60% profit margin, while letting me step back from it almost 100% (I’ll probably still do a few hours a week just so I know what’s going on).

Biggest thing I’ve learned is to work smarter, not harder. Being driven and ambitious doesn’t mean working 60-80 hours a week, it means finding what will make you the most profit so you can reduce hours. The biggest thing I tell people is really push the boundaries of how much you can get paid for the least amount of work possible (which means you also need to show proof you can get results).


MLM?
Anonymous
Post 05/13/2025 20:44     Subject: Moms with fancy jobs
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I switched to freelance work because I didn’t have childcare and would get fired quickly for needing to take sick days (single mom).

Over about 3 years I spent every spare minute learning (podcasts, courses, etc), building a portfolio, and networking so I could become one of the best in my field. Every time I made a sale, I raised my prices while also lowering the scope of work, so I got paid more to do less.

Right now I hover at about 4 hours of work a day for $10-20k/month. I can scale up or down as needed.

Currently building up the biz to scale to $100k/month with a 50-60% profit margin, while letting me step back from it almost 100% (I’ll probably still do a few hours a week just so I know what’s going on).

Biggest thing I’ve learned is to work smarter, not harder. Being driven and ambitious doesn’t mean working 60-80 hours a week, it means finding what will make you the most profit so you can reduce hours. The biggest thing I tell people is really push the boundaries of how much you can get paid for the least amount of work possible (which means you also need to show proof you can get results).


Respectfully, by DCUM standards that amount of money doesn’t make you all that successful.


If she can bump up to 100K/month then she will be.
Anonymous
Post 05/13/2025 20:43     Subject: Moms with fancy jobs
* uninvolved
Anonymous
Post 05/13/2025 20:41     Subject: Moms with fancy jobs
Anonymous wrote:I have an involved husband and a nanny 50 hours per week.


I have an uncles work addict husband and put a shit ton of systems in place at home. Plus got the kids independent, fast.

**Fulltime nanny /housekeeper kids age 0-5
**Afternoon nanny/housekeeper kids age 0-12
**Car pools galore
**Mainly take all inclusive trips or trips with my side of the family so grandparents can help.

Senior C level so I can delegate a lot, put other people on some travel, process papers for everything and filling in, everyone gets their work done one time and well w good comms so can be irk for home if and when necessary.

Always have a good RightHand Man at home and at work.
Anonymous
Post 05/13/2025 14:24     Subject: Moms with fancy jobs
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I switched to freelance work because I didn’t have childcare and would get fired quickly for needing to take sick days (single mom).

Over about 3 years I spent every spare minute learning (podcasts, courses, etc), building a portfolio, and networking so I could become one of the best in my field. Every time I made a sale, I raised my prices while also lowering the scope of work, so I got paid more to do less.

Right now I hover at about 4 hours of work a day for $10-20k/month. I can scale up or down as needed.

Currently building up the biz to scale to $100k/month with a 50-60% profit margin, while letting me step back from it almost 100% (I’ll probably still do a few hours a week just so I know what’s going on).

Biggest thing I’ve learned is to work smarter, not harder. Being driven and ambitious doesn’t mean working 60-80 hours a week, it means finding what will make you the most profit so you can reduce hours. The biggest thing I tell people is really push the boundaries of how much you can get paid for the least amount of work possible (which means you also need to show proof you can get results).


Respectfully, by DCUM standards that amount of money doesn’t make you all that successful.


PP. I could scale up to $40-50k/month tomorrow if I wanted to work 40 hours a week, right now I have a client waitlist about 6 months long. But, I don't like working that much. So working on sustainably scaling it with good hires, it just takes time to find and train the right people.

Personally, I'm very happy with making $200k/year working part time. It feels like a good balance to me, scratches my itch to build things and lets me spend time with my family.
Anonymous
Post 05/13/2025 14:12     Subject: Moms with fancy jobs
1. Involved husband with flexible job (husband makes all meals, does all the laundry, and handles landscaping and contractors for home repairs; I do what I can to help if I have extra time)
2. Full time nanny (40 hrs/week)
3. Cleaning outsourced
4. Every other week I spend a night where I work from 9pm to 3am with extreme focus so I can avoid work on weekends unless there’s some major deadline/workstream coming up
5. Helpful grandparents and in-laws who help DH when I have to travel for work and on weekends as needed
6. I mostly WFH other than work travel
7. Costco and grocery delivery for 80% of our food
8. Dry cleaning pick up and delivery
9. I’m extremely organized and have a very good memory so things rarely slip through the cracks
Anonymous
Post 05/13/2025 14:01     Subject: Moms with fancy jobs
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I switched to freelance work because I didn’t have childcare and would get fired quickly for needing to take sick days (single mom).

Over about 3 years I spent every spare minute learning (podcasts, courses, etc), building a portfolio, and networking so I could become one of the best in my field. Every time I made a sale, I raised my prices while also lowering the scope of work, so I got paid more to do less.

Right now I hover at about 4 hours of work a day for $10-20k/month. I can scale up or down as needed.

Currently building up the biz to scale to $100k/month with a 50-60% profit margin, while letting me step back from it almost 100% (I’ll probably still do a few hours a week just so I know what’s going on).

Biggest thing I’ve learned is to work smarter, not harder. Being driven and ambitious doesn’t mean working 60-80 hours a week, it means finding what will make you the most profit so you can reduce hours. The biggest thing I tell people is really push the boundaries of how much you can get paid for the least amount of work possible (which means you also need to show proof you can get results).


Respectfully, by DCUM standards that amount of money doesn’t make you all that successful.


Don't be an idiot -- that PP is taking in between 10k and 20k per month, workng half time. That is successful. By any standards.
Anonymous
Post 05/13/2025 13:58     Subject: Moms with fancy jobs
Neither role gets done well. Lots of guilt on both ends.
Anonymous
Post 05/13/2025 13:53     Subject: Moms with fancy jobs
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I switched to freelance work because I didn’t have childcare and would get fired quickly for needing to take sick days (single mom).

Over about 3 years I spent every spare minute learning (podcasts, courses, etc), building a portfolio, and networking so I could become one of the best in my field. Every time I made a sale, I raised my prices while also lowering the scope of work, so I got paid more to do less.

Right now I hover at about 4 hours of work a day for $10-20k/month. I can scale up or down as needed.

Currently building up the biz to scale to $100k/month with a 50-60% profit margin, while letting me step back from it almost 100% (I’ll probably still do a few hours a week just so I know what’s going on).

Biggest thing I’ve learned is to work smarter, not harder. Being driven and ambitious doesn’t mean working 60-80 hours a week, it means finding what will make you the most profit so you can reduce hours. The biggest thing I tell people is really push the boundaries of how much you can get paid for the least amount of work possible (which means you also need to show proof you can get results).


This is so smart. I wish you taught a course on this!

DP


Same. I'd love to know what industry this is.

Some of the consultants my organization uses seem to have this... part-time retainers with a couple different clients. But their $20k a month is gross, so they're paying for their own healthcare and full retirement. And they're constantly hustling for their next gig. It all seems a little high-energy to me.
Anonymous
Post 05/13/2025 13:51     Subject: Moms with fancy jobs
I also work at night when the kid is asleep. Oh, I only have the one.
Anonymous
Post 05/13/2025 13:50     Subject: Moms with fancy jobs
Shaking my head that people think an impressive, well-paying job HAS to involve 50+ hours a week and an “intense” lifestyle. Mine is super flexible and frankly the whole organization is dedicated to healthy, happy employees.