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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Bring these friends into your home regularly  and make sure you judge them for yourself rather than some sort of “reputation” heard from gossipy adults.

Banning an impulsive kid with no other friends from hanging with his only friends is likely a fools task and honestly pretty cruel besides.

Tell him he can only hang out at your house with them for now. Get to know them. Don’t judge them but make sure they know your rules. Have awesome snacks and otherwise a relaxed environment and good video games. It’s my experience that these kinds of kids aren’t bad (after all they are including your son, who apparently is a bit of a school pariah)  just poorly supervised and/or struggling with some home problems. Often these are the first kids to engage with me as a parent and be better with my kids when they don’t want to risk the same space of my home.  [/quote]

I was in scouts in a rural town; and it was full of kids like this. Yeah they aren’t evil per se, but they get up to a lot of no good and have very loose ideas of right and wrong. I was the world’s biggest prude and they knew it, so I was like a mascot or pet to them and didn’t get dragged along for the real bad things.

But don’t be fooled that a nice house or plenty of food will quell their impulses. If you do this I would keep eyes on them like a hawk. No liquor or weapons in the house, and never home alone. Maybe no matches or lighters too. [/quote]

And lock up the ADHD meds and make sure your kid is taking them responsibly and not tempted to sell or give them away.

That said, a lot of the perceived "bad" crowd at my high school was made up of the nicest kids who dressed goth but were seriously kind and caring and had a whole lot less substance abuse and alcohol problems than the sporty preppy lax bro type who knew how to kiss up to teachers and parents but were really awful behind the scenes.[/quote]

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