Reply to Derail conversations by focusing on semantics. Why do this?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I find that semantics can be important. Communication is aided if you're able to speak with some precision. Sometimes unstated premises on which individuals disagree end up being the real barrier to communication.[/quote]

I do this to my husband, despite my best efforts not to.  I know a lot of my own issues come from an abusive childhood where negative stories were always being told about me and I was treated like the problem whenever I spoke the truth about our family.  So, I am overly sensitive to mischaracterizations of, exaggerations, or extrapolations from the things I say.  I also have a brain that cannot help noticing details, probably from decades of hypervigilance, and it can be very difficult for me to focus on the substance if there is a lot of other noise in the conversation (poor grammar, sidebars, weak analogies, et cetera).

I suggest that you try to speak directly and only about yourself in conversations and see if that helps.  I also recommend trying to understand what's going on for your husband and showing some empathy, expressing some compassion about it in a different conversation.  A little outreach like that can go a long way.[/quote]

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