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Reply to "Divorce settlement specifics to include - s/o AP to stepmom"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This is a spinoff of the post about the AP to stepmom transition.  There are some very specific and very helpful comments in there e.g. having ex holding a life insurance policy to benefit the kids AND have annual proof it's being renewed.

I was hoping to start a thread for additional tips on specific clauses you included or issues that you addressed that are important to consider, and also any warnings you may have on things that you wish you'd done differently.

I'm very worried about getting this 'right' and don't want to just rely on my lawyer to manage this because he's definitely not the shmuck stuck dealing afterward if anything gets missed.

Please hit me with your best advice![/quote]

I am currently getting divorced, we are finalizing our custody and property settlement agreements now (in Va).

You need to change your mindset re your divorce-it isnt your attorneys job to manage. It is yours. The more you can manage yourself the less you will have to pay them. Your attorney is in business to make money from you and charge you for every phone call, every email, everything.

Given that, try to hammer as much out as you can btw the two of you. You know what you own, what came into the marriage with whom, what 50% of what you own equals. This isn’t easy if you have a messy divorce situation going on, but every dollar you pay your attorney is one dollar less for you or the kids.

Two questions: first, have you met with an attorney yet? Because a good attorney will have you bring a list of your marital/personal assets to the first meeting and that will help guide the conversation re what you have, how it can legally be divided in your state, etc.

Second: what do you think you need to “get right”?

Finally, someone in this thread mentioned the Custody Exchange website which I highly recommend. Its a $20/mo subscription and covers everything from life insurance to who pays for cell phones to who will decide what to do with the body in the unlikely event a child passes away. It takes your answers and spits out a parenting plan that your atty will review with you and then put into legal-ese.  I went through the site with a friend who got divorced a few years ago and she was in awe at how much she would have saved in legal fees if she knew about the site.

Good luck! 
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