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[quote=Anonymous]If you want to have a close relationship with your adult son, you need to live relatively close, be helpful if they have kids, show respect to your DIL, and respect boundaries. 
My relationship with my MIL was severely damaged when she decided her needs and wants were more important than anyone else’s. Her desire to be “close” led to unreasonable expectations and guilt trips if we weren’t meeting them. There was no consideration of our time, energy, money, or role as parents. It was all about us needing to fulfill her vision of the grandparent relationship she wanted with our kids. There was very much an attitude of “if you love me, you would do this.”  It led to a lot of resentment. I can say that the more you do for your adult child and his family without expectations of something in return, the more likely your adult son will want to have you around. My Dad has always respected our separate life and never judged our decisions. He never complained about not being included. I love him dearly and would do anything for him. [/quote]

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