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[quote=Anonymous]I would explain calmly that if they die, part of me will die as well. And if they need advanced medical care for years because they've been in a coma, need rehab and never regain 100% functionality, they will place the entire family's financial wellbeing in jeopardy, because health aides and living without a job are bloody expensive - cite them an actual number. That there is a difference between receiving family help after surviving an accident that was not foreseeable, and receiving family help after surviving an accident that IS, and that you did not adequately prepare for. The latter will generate significant resentment, if it puts retirement plans and siblings plans on hold.

And then offer to buy them the gear posters have described.

Just because they're technically over 18 doesn't make them suddenly wise. You need to get through to them that they're are making highly irresponsible decisions right now. Also, they don't get to make family gatherings miserable just because they're angry at you. Do they have some sort of diagnosis, such as hyperactive ADHD, that explains some of their behavior? If so, are they taking their meds? Is this a mania phase of bipolar disorder?

I have a 20 year old son who listens to me, but he's always been the slow, reflective kind. I would definitely butt heads with someone like your kid, so I feel for you. [/quote]

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