Reply to Very down today about treatment by adult stepchildren

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Did you do anything to help their mom or support them having some kind of safe relationship with her? What are some examples of them being self centered and mean? Do you also have biological children?

It’s definitely painful to love sacrificially and feel like you get kicked in the teeth for it. A lot of young adults act this way but grow out of it. [/quote]

It was not her responsibility to "do something" to help her husband's mentally ill ex. That was not her place.[/quote]
It is if they’re kids when you get them. If you become stepparent and your partner has significant custody it’s especially important that you accept and love those kids as you would your own, but you try to make things as good as possible with the other parent. Because that’s what’s best for the kids. It sounds like OP did everything she could.

OP, I don’t know why the step kids behave the way they do. I think the most important thing for you to do is to recognize that you did what you should have done. Life is unfair, ACs with every advantage can turn out badly, and the culture is very supportive of being alienated from family. You didn’t love and care for them because you wanted something back. Although it’s terribly hurtful to have them treat you this way now, you wouldn’t turn back the clock and treat them badly. Try and rest in the comfort of knowing you did your best. [/quote]

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