Reply to Wife and I have dramatically different opinions about how much financial help should be given to adult kids

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Which of the following do you think are appropriate things for a spouse to expect their spouse to pay for their kids?

1. college
2. grad school
3. down payment for a new house[/quote]

First of all, we don’t have separate monies based on which spouse. So,  all monies are ours.

We also did not have expectations, we had goals and plans.  We planned on paying for undergraduate college and were able to do so.  One child had grad school paid for by their employer (yeah!) and one got a fellowship (yeah!).  However, if they had chosen something that did not have that kind of availability, we would have helped with grad school to the extent that we could.  For example, my nephew is in PT school and is living at home to cut costs and my sister and BIL are giving some toward the tuition so that he does not have a huge loan burden.  He has no loans from undergrad.

We have also been very lucky in the house lottery.  We bought in a DCUM high value area in the later 1990’s and will be selling and moving to a house that costs about half - in a preferred (to us) area.  As a result, we will be able to help our children with a down payment.

One of our children, moved back in after college - for a one year planned period to save money and figure out where they wanted to live. They had a job that was commutable from our house.  The deal was that they would save what it would have cost to live elsewhere, which is what they did.  They ended up saying 2 1/2 years as a result of Covid and as a result saved enough for a down payment down the road.

If you have money to share, why not give your kids early inheritances- when they could most use it?  [/quote]

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