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[quote=Anonymous]I bailed out when my DD was still pretty little. It caused be a lot of heartache and I’ll admit that I felt huge envy and jealousy when peers’ careers zoomed forward and I was standing at the kitchen counter washing the same water bottle for the millionth time that week. And just after the pandemic, when friends started upgrading not-quite starter homes to crazy $4m palaces, I nearly had a breakdown as we all fought for space in our tight house (in an amazing neighborhood).

However, staying home started to pay off. DH got promoted quickly at work because he was able to go all-in for a few years- flying to Asia at a moments’ notice, serving on special advisory committees, getting pulled onto special projects. It sucked to watch because we essentially had the same careers and some things I could have done better. But our DD was able to stay in a really demanding a fulfilling activity as her peers dropped out due to the challenge of getting rides and the cost. I was able to have long-postponed surgeries and medical treatment for chronic conditions probably triggered by work stress. I nursed our elderly dog through a prolonged decline and had the time to take on a new rescue later.

And like another PP, all of this aligned with a very favorable market which is allowing us to move to the kind of house that our 2-career peers are in. So the end result is essentially the same in many ways, and better in others.

So yeah, I took it on the chin and I know people look down on me, but it worked out and my kid’s life really benefited from having a flexible parent and another parent who could focus on just work + being there for her.

It’s a gamble, like everything else. Just know that you’ll have to absorb some nasty comments. And I don’t mean online. People express their insecurities or prejudice through their “innocent questions” and you’ll find out who is your real friend and who were just colleagues/mom friends/professional school acquaintances.  [/quote]

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