Reply to “I’m going through a lot”???

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[quote=Anonymous][quote]She broke down again, said she’s not sure she’s up to the holiday, because she “is going through a lot right now”. DH gently tried to coax out of her what she’s going though, but she wouldn’t divulge, just kept saying, “it’s a lot” through tears. 
[/quote]

Sounds like he did the right thing by trying to gently coax her, and then stopping. At this point he has tried so I wouldn't pursue an answer further.

[quote]And now he’s annoyed. He thinks she’s using this as an excuse for a multitude of things; she’s always picking fights and is generally difficult overall. DH thinks she’s either sick and dying and doesn’t want anyone to know, or wants everyone to think that so she will gain sympathy (a tactic she’s used for forever.)
[/quote]

I think it is fair for him to say "after the trauma of losing mom and dad, I really need to know that you're not dying, because I would be devastated if I found out you passed away and kept that from me. Other than that, I will respect your privacy."

[quote]How do you tell if someone is being manipulative, or if they are genuinely hurting, when they only vaguely tell you “it’s something” over and over again, but won’t say what. [/quote]

You can't, though the evidence hear about picking fights certainly leans towards attention seeking. I would address the "dying" part and then just sort of disengage and give her space. If she brings it up again, just say "OK" and move on which will be either you not giving her attention or you respecting her privacy, whichever one of those is true.[/quote]

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