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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I disagree with PP. I plan on letting the staff at my mother's facility know she was always like this. Always was racist and hates other women. It's nuts. Not giving her a pass now that she's old. Nope. You reap what you sow. I'll also be donating half our inheritance from her to a HBCU for a scholarship in my parents' names. They would hate that more than anything in the world. And yes I will tell them that's what I'm doing once they aren't able to change the will. I've thought of this since high school. Other half of their money will go to support abortion rights. Can't wait. I will feel some justice after a lifetime of witnessing their despicable treatment of other people.[/quote]
Although I can empathize with some of your feelings, what you are doing is becoming your mother. She is now a vulnerable person, and you are using your power to harm her. You don't have to help her, but vengeance is not healthy or right. Your parents probably hurt you because they were damaged. Now you are damaged and striking out. It's ok to walk away, but it's not ok to actively harm your mom. Making those donations is a wonderful thing, but telling them about it with the intent of causing distress is not.

Do you really want to be this kind of person?[/quote]

I am all for donating their money to good causes. I think it's fine to donate to places that support minorities and equality knowing that they would hate it. I'm not above a dig like that when it comes to racism and bigotry.

But don't drag the staff at her nursing home into your dumpster fire of family relationships. There is no need to burden them more than they already are - earning peanuts for doing one of the hardest jobs on earth. They don't need to hear about your family's baggage in addition to wiping arses and listening to verbal abuse. Let them do their job in what minuscule peace they can scrape up. [/quote]

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