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Reply to "My mom is like Kate Gosselin"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]DH and I noticed it runs in some of our friends families, like the women learn to henpeck without trying another dynamic with a spouse, and the men engage in learned helplessness to be henpecked rather than change the dynamic. People can have their discussions in private but public arguing is so gross to see. I see fault on both sides engaging in the dynamic. My DH sees it as the women being taken with something (money/looks/whatever the guy had) and marrying anyway- overlooking the stuff that would soon get exhausting to deal with. "I come from a long line of women who marry idiots, so let me handle this" is his impression he does when we see it in public.[/quote] It isn’t “learned helplessness.” It’s “I will be criticized no matter what, so why even bother.” Huge difference. You can ask someone to do something or you can tell them how to do it. But you don’t get to do both. Some women are prone to doing both and over time, their abused husbands learn disengagement as a survival strategy.[/quote]
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