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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Kids will sometimes identify with the abusive parent and think that the mom "deserved it" because they can't comprehend that one of their parents is choosing to hurt the other. This phenomenon can be much worse if the abused parent hasn't left the abusive situation yet. Are you divorced? That alone will make it better. [/quote]

I just can’t imagine that DC would think any of these allegations are true - that I am a greedy woman who just married him for money (he’s unemployed and I am the breadwinner, he used to have a job though), that he magically paid for our lives and I just worked for fun and to get away from home, that I hate them, that I am from a poor and awful family (my dad was a lawyer), and the list goes on. DC is 13, I don’t understand how she can believe any of this and doesn’t see how these things are blatant lies.[/quote]

I have no idea why your 13y old sided with your husband since I am not a psychologist, but I can tell you that in my case, I sided with my father when he abused my mother throughout my childhood for fear, in a nutshell. It was more complex than just purely fear, but at the core that was the reason. Fear that he would turn to me instead, fear of falling out of his good graces, etc.

But even as a child I remember knowing that everything he spilled as wrong. It was just survival mode.

Good luck.[/quote]

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