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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Kids will sometimes identify with the abusive parent and think that the mom "deserved it" because they can't comprehend that one of their parents is choosing to hurt the other. This phenomenon can be much worse if the abused parent hasn't left the abusive situation yet. Are you divorced? That alone will make it better. [/quote]

I just can’t imagine that DC would think any of these allegations are true - that I am a greedy woman who just married him for money (he’s unemployed and I am the breadwinner, he used to have a job though), that he magically paid for our lives and I just worked for fun and to get away from home, that I hate them, that I am from a poor and awful family (my dad was a lawyer), and the list goes on. DC is 13, I don’t understand how she can believe any of this and doesn’t see how these things are blatant lies.[/quote]

Even if they were true, so what?!   What kind of person would throw “well you greet up poor!” at you?!

DH is acting out bc his usual tactics aren’t working.  But you can’t make him into a mature adult against his will.   Not sure this is a marriage worth saving. [/quote]

Exactly, he is acting like this because I don't say yes to everything anymore, and am not emotionally dependent on him anymore. Based on many recommendations online, I live my own life, separately but next to him. I go to the gym by myself, I meet up with other moms by myself for lunch etc. I travel to visit my mom, etc. This makes him mad. [b]Also, I agree - what insult is that, you grew up poor...[/b] He just takes every little thing in my life, and turns it into some sort of insult in his rants against me.[/quote]

np. Almost none of these things should be used as insults, and your child shouldn't look down on other people for them. So that's another discussion you could have with your children. DH's comments don't apply to you, but some people are poor. Some people come from poor families. Some people come from abusive families. Some households have one breadwinner (yours does, and it's you). Sometimes a lower earning spouse does work just to get out of the house, for their own mental health, or for extra spending money.

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