Reply to Anyone feel like they just can’t win with men?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]What does he say when you point this out to him?

I have a similar husband problem: all he wants to hear is agreement with his views. He denies this, of course. He has a high IQ and is often right... and I think this has played into his inflated sense of self. He just cannot accept when he's objectively wrong. And when it's merely a question of opinion, he still wants to somehow "win".

He's gotten worse with age and frankly it makes him unlikeable these days.

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He’s said “yea you’re right, I’m trying to get better about it” when I’ve pointed it out.

I’m just sort of bitter about the whole thing because for so long he made it seem like he settled for me because I couldn’t have these discussions, and I genuinely thought he was so much smarter than me. Now that I’ve had the time to learn these things, I see he’s actually not that smart. Anyone can learn these things and repeat them back in a conversation.

Which doesn’t make me love him any less. I still love him and think he’s incredible. I’m just bitter because I thought learning these things would make him hold me in higher esteem, and instead it just makes him mad. [/quote]

He. is a man.  Society has bred him for decades to believe he is smarter than any woman, that women should be deferential to him and that he should make all decisions and no one should challenge his authority.

You, however, were bred to think you are lesser. You believed so when your husband told you so.

Now you have figured out that you are not lesser.  But, your DH has not figured out that you are not lesser, because it would mean that he is not more.

Welcome to the patriarchy.

You can spend time "educating" DH to get him to see you as an equally competent person, but TBH IME very few men are willing to see their own privilege and the faulty foundation that has built it. If you choose this path, you will spend a lot of time and energy on him which can better be spent on yourself.

So, the other option is to just engage superficially on these subjects and let him pontificate and be superior. Invest your time and attention on yourself and things that are of genuine interest and value to yourself.

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